Lying - A common encounter
I would like to point out right here at the beginning of this article, that this is not a “how to” guide for discovering if someone is lying, these are just observations that I have made over time, and cannot always be relied upon to provide an accurate answer.
I am going to start this post by showing you a line, that you should always bear in mind.
Everybody Lies.
Lying is one of the most common things in the world. There are many different forms of lying, and there are literally millions of reasons why anyone would lie. we learn to lie about the same time as we learn to talk, however telling if a child is lying is much simpler than an adult. In this article I am going to talk to you about people’s “tell” this is where when they are lying their body reacts in ways that most people cannot control, and are not even aware of.
Lying children
I have observed that when a child lies, he will often cover his mouth with his hand, as if in some way to stop the bad words from leaving him. This action is also present in adults however it is much more subtle and harder to spot.
General
As previously mentioned, everybody (and this really is everybody) has a “tell” when they are lying. Below I am going to list a few that I have observed, and that I have been told about, and I want you to think about someone making those actions.
- Touching of the face or chin when talking. This spreads back to the child covering his mouth.
- Constant eye contact. It is an extremely common misconception that when people lie, they will not look you in the eye. And in some cases this is true, but generally only with certain types of people. Because everyone knows of this concept the liar will often look at you in the eyes more when he is lying compared to when they are speaking normally.
- Feet movements. Although most people don’t know it, when you are talking, people are rarely aware of their outer extremities. The best example of this would be the feet. People can spend many hours practicing their facial expressions when lying, however people rarely think about the feet or hands. - I have observed that when someone is telling a blatant lie, they will sometimes either lock their legs behind each other, in some way protecting their gentiles from attack. However there are several others:
- Feet tapping.
- Leg “crunching” - When your legs are crossed, you squeeze one leg with the other
- REM (Rapid Eye Movements) - Where the eyes will move quickly from side to side, and up and down apparently searching (from what I am told) for an exit. The mind will automatically search for an exit in any uncomfortable situation. - Combined with the previously mentioned fact of people looking you in the eye more often, this is perhaps one of the easiest things to “read” although this can be easily controlled with practice.
- Hand clasping - Where the hands instead of being relaxed and on the desk or on the persons lap, the hands are sometimes balled into fists, or linked together. As a matter of observation my belief is that this would be either attempt to force your way out of a situation (not physically but your mind attempting to (balled fists)) or to try and protect yourself (clasped hands).
- Voice pitch - The pitch of a persons voice may slightly change when they are lying, although this is an in-accurate way of measuring a lie due to the fact that peoples voice pitches change so wildly.
- Subject avoidance - Generally a liar will always attempt to avoid the subject that he has lied about. This is nothing more complex than the liar not wanting to be found out. If you think they are lying, push the subject.
- Body positioning - Generally when people are telling an outright lie, they will move their bodies in their chair, or seat to be facing away from you. This is perhaps one of the best “Tell’s”
Those are just 10 of the literally hundreds of “Tell’s” that people will display when lying. But the problem is there is no accurate way of knowing. People generally base their views on a gut feeling. Although you may not consciously aware of it, your mind will pick up any and all signals being displayed by the other person, and will count that into the judgement that you make about what they have said.
There is really no way for me to explain to you how to tell if someone is lying, because there really is no way of knowing for sure. Every single one of the above “tell’s” can be suppressed with practice. However I would recommend you consciously think about some of the “tell’s” that I have listed above, and perhaps see if you can find some of your own out?
Next time you are in a situation where you have to lie, think about what you are saying. Think about the way your body is moving, what facial expressions you are making, and so on and so forth. But remember it takes years of practice to get to the level where it is difficult to tell if someone is lying.
Your project: Tell the same lie to 3 different people. After you have said it, ask them if they thought you were lying. And if so, why. I promise you 90% of them will say, “I dunno, I just didn’t belive you.” However don’t give them any warning before hand.
And enjoy! Here endith the first lesson.
Conclusion
Although you can attempt to read into another person all day long for many years, you will never fully grasp why they do certain things, it is almost impossible to truly know if someone is lying, but most of the time you can get a general idea. My advice is? Listen to your gut.
Tom
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I loved the concept of crossing one’s legs to protect the gentiles.. Presumably Jewish orthodox followers would be less interested in doing this than say, presbyterians?
So proud Mr Potter, so proud..
Great read.
However, it was recently proven that people’s body language is more misleading and doesn’t have anything to do with them lying, i was quite suprised.
Where the hell was that proven? People’s body language is completely sub-concious rather than a concious action. Yes if they are good they can supress most of the body movements that they make. But body language is one of the most acurate and easy ways of gaging people acurately.