How do deal with death
Dealing with death is a horrible thing to experience at any age. Weather you are 15 or 50, death can literally tear your life apart.
Many people have asked through the ages about what is the best way to deal with it. And people choose many ways. Some become recluse others become extravert, but the question I am going to attempt to answer on this beautiful summers evening is, which is best?
The psychology of death is quite simple. We experience a loss, which can become an empty hole in our psyche, that we feel that we have to fill. Most people when they experience a death of someone close to them, will become extravert. Most begin to take horrible risks with themselves and with their lives, usually by taking part in dangerous activities in a way to compensate for the emptiness that they feel.
Still others become recluse in their lives. They can start to not want to leave the house, or even their rooms in the case of younger people. They can stop eating, and in some rare cases even commit suicide.
So to answer the question “which is best” the real answer is neither.
The best way to deal with any type of emotion is by expressing it. In the case of anger it’s good to express it. And in this case, grief, it is better to express it. People dislike doing this, because they can feel vulnerable that they may in some way be mocked for what they are feeling.
My advice:
Find a friend or family member who you deeply trust, who would do anything for you, and you would do anything for. And confide in them. Tell them about what your feeling, cry on their shoulder, curl up in a ball on their bed and cry. But express the fact that you feel grief.
90% who experience the death of a close friend or relative, will become one of the first 2 examples. Most men for example feel week if they are seen to be crying. So they bottle up their grief inside them. This is an extremely destructive practice, and can lead to some truly horrible things.
If you don’t have a friend who you feel you could confide in, or simply don’t want to. Then a psychiatrist is a simple and easy option. It does not matter who you talk to. It can be your dog, your teddy or your neighbour. But always remember that bottling it up, will never help. It will hinder.
If you don’t think you can do either of the above, then I am always available to lend a helping ear. I may not have a degree, but I can listen. If you would like to get in touch you can email me at tom@designbubble.net or you can call me on 0870 4790 924 (the best time to call is during the evening, however you can try and call any time. If I don’t answer, just leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible)
The following quote may seem quite heartless but have a think about it.
Death? Why this fuss about death. Use your imagination, try to visualize a world without death! … Death is the essential condition of life, not an evil. - Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Tom
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