Fuck off chain mail.
Now today I received a piece of chain mail from a friend. Now I am usually OK with this kind of stuff, I know it’s bullshit so I just delete it. But this one just pushed me over the edge of frustration..
I have given some alternate answers to some of the questions, and hope that you enjoy them
Well this is me sending it back with a twist.
This is really sweet…….. <– No it’s not. It’s spam.
When a Girl is quiet … millions of things are running in her mind. <– Not necessarily she could be asleep.
When a Girl is not arguing … she is thinking deeply. <– She is likely just talking normally. Or she’s asleep.
When a Girl looks at “u” with eyes full of questions … she is wondering how long you will be around. <– No. She wants to ask a question.
When a Girl answers ‘ I’m fine ‘ after a few seconds … she is not at all fine. <– Who wrote this, Einstein?
When a Girl stares at you … she is wondering why you are lying. <– Or she could be wondering why you just called her mum fat.
When a Girl lays on your chest … she is wishing for you to be hers forever. <– Or maybe your man-boobs are like a small pillow?
When a Girl wants to see you everyday… she wants to be pampered. <– Or she’s possessive…
When a Girl says ‘ I love you ‘ … she means it. <– To a secure man this is true. To the insecure male this could be an admitance of guilt over her love of her penpal Yu Chang Ling
When a Girl says ‘ I miss you ‘ … no one in this world can miss you more than that. <– But then each girl has to better any other girl that has said it.
Life only comes around once make sure “u” spend it with the right person <– But then some religions belive that we come back as many animals in our existence, so effectively we get lots of chances. So why don’t I just take a chance next time egh?
Find a Guy .. who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. <– Agree with the first part. The second part proves that he has not used up all of his minutes this month on his phone.
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. <– Most guys will stay awake to watch you sleep, so that they can sneak off and fuck someone else. And your dad kissed you on the forehead, should you “get with” him?
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. <– I.e. he wants to put you outside because you smell of sweat.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends. <– Because the bitch won’t let go
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you <– Or because he is desperate and insecure.
Who turns to his friends and says, ‘ That’s her!! ‘ <- “GET HER LADS!!!”
If you open this you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life!!!!! <– Thas’ ok.. I’m set for life anyway. I’ve broken a mirror, walked under a ladder & had a black cat cross my path. So i’m pretty much set for the next few decades anyway.
If I don’t get this back I guess your not my friend. <– Probablly not you spamming whore.
If you have a lot of love for someone. copy and send this to your whole list. <– Or just collect all the addresses in the email and sell them to a french porn site.
In 5 minutes your true love will call or message you <– Note: I tried this. Apparently my true love is a tele-marketing operator from New-Deli who goes by the name of Sanjieve. We are meeting later on this month.
Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you. <– In New Deli it’s actually 4PM…
Something good will happen to you at approx. 1:42 P.M. tomorrow, it could be anywhere. <– Approx 1:42? How is that an approximation? It’s like saying. The time is now approximately 1:42:21.62. If someone the time and they responded by telling you it was approximately 1 hour 42 minutes, 21 seconds and 62 milliseconds past 12. You’d ask them politely if they were autistic… Anyway, i’m at work at 1:42 PM tommorw so unless Sanjieve turns up to the UK to give me a blow job on my lunch break…
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life. <– Fuck. Just asked an Indian friend and apparently Sanjieve is a blokes name.
If you break this chain, you will be cursed with relationship problems for the most important time of your life. <– There is no chain/spoon.
Send this to 15 people in 15 minutes to carry on the chain…and spare yourself the emotional stress <— Emotional stress? Of not forwarding an email? Are you kidding me? It would cause me more stress to choose who would still like me if I sent them a chain email, than it would to just delete it.
So in conclusion.This is my frankly brilliant way of sending this chain mail to a hell of allot more than 15 people.
I’m just a slave to trends…
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Thomas Gray you sad shit
Thomas Gray you sad shit.